just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
