3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
