South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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