Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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