okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
