just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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