So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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