your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
