Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
