shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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