well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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