eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
