the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
