He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
