I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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