how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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