Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
