he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
