They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
