I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
