Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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