Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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