how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
