Where is the hickey?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Enjoy the penises
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
