Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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