so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
