I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
