Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
