it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
