omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how drunk are you?
Several
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
