we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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