I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
