I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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