What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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