Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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