sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
