Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Pooping to opera.
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