And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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