i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dear god my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
