Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
