Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
