Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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