she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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