come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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