apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
