the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
