I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize
