tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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