i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
