...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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